KIDDISMS

By the way

    " When I was little I couldn't walk or talk or move. But my arms could eat my dinner" says my six year old one day. 

Boy to dad in bathroom:

  Looking under the toilet stall: " Dad!! Look at how big those shoes are!! He must be a giant in there!! " " Sorry sir" says the dad.  I wear size 14 shoes.  I just laughed and said it's fine.

Daughter negotiating dessert:

   Dad " After three more bites you can have dessert."  Daughter after looking carefully at her plate " Dad?  How many peas are in a bite?"

Going camping:

   " It's good to leave the hurry scurry of the city." Said my seven year old daughter as we were going camping.

Whack:

   "Boy, my headlights sure are out of whack,' I noted as I pulled up to a wall and saw them shining on it. " Dad, how do you put whack in headlights? "

Spending money:

    "Honey I left my money at home" said my ex. Our six year old daughter pipes up from the back seat " That's okay mommy. We'll spend daddy's money."

Slow food:

     Discussing lunch with my six year old daughter I said " I don't want fast food today."   She looked puzzled and said " You want slow food daddy?".

Frogs/pizza

     At the YMCA camp we were playing by a pond looking for frogs. Being early spring there were none around yet. She was all of eight years old and came up with " A pond without frogs is like a pizza with no cheese."

Shoes

    When asked where her shoes were my 4 year old daughter replied calmly,' My shoes don't actually stay on."

Donuts

     "I need one donut for dessert and I need one for a snack later" my daughter informed me one night after dinner. 3 1/2 years old

Halloween Costume

      After taking her spider man costume into her room ( after being told she could not wear it yet) she emerged about 15 minutes later with this thought. 

" I should probably try it on, just to make sure it fits." 4 years old ( I had to say yes after she put all that thought into it)

Car/bad starter

    Was having issues getting my car to start one day and was getting a little frustrated by the whole deal. As I sat there fuming my daughter reached over and patted my arm and said " Maybe your car is just tired today daddy." 6 years old

 Adult

    You can do what you want, you're the adult. (in regard to shopping, 5 years old)

Pretend I'm a tray

     " Pretend I'm a tray" my daughter said to me when I told her I was too tired to carry her into the house after work. ( I was a server then)